Jeff Brown, writing over at Bloodhound Blog, has an excellent post on why some people get so obsessed with winning a deal that they end up killing it. Jeff aptly calls it “Looking through the wrong end of the telescope” and it applies to far more than real estate.
I have worked with and partnered with guys like this. They are so worried about being screwed over the smallest details that great opportunities are lost in the process and they end up being people that you never want to work with again. All over the crumbs of a deal.
It is a great lesson, worry about your own goals and expectations in a negotiation and not what benefit the other guy is getting.
My father who has spent years as an attorney told me this story when he was just starting out. He was negotiating a lease for a strip center property and driving a hard bargain for his client. Nearing the end of the negotiation his client asked him to step out into the hallway for a minute.
The client then told my Dad, “Look, I sure do appreciate you hard work in trying to get me the best terms. But lets go a little easier on the guy. He is the one who for the next 10 years is going to be getting up early in the morning and going late to bed to pay me rent. Let’s make sure that he is in a position to succeed and have a reason to get out of bed each day.”
I have been told that story numerous times in my life, some times from my dad and others just going over it in my memory. Leaving something on the table for the future is not a bad thing. At the end of the day everyone involved will remember you as a good person to deal with and will bring much greater opportunities to you in the future.
And it will also lead to a much happier life.
Thanks Jeff for the reminder…
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Thanks! We seem to have led somewhat parallel lives. In addition to being a broker, Dad was also a real estate attorney, though later in life.
If you remember the old story about the plumber — Dad knew where to tap.
The other guy has to live to fight another day.
Tommy and Jeff,
Valuable lessons like the one you brought to light are often lost on people. The fact is that if you give with an open heart you will receive 10 fold in return.
The greatest advice I received from an old sales manager of mine back in the "Glen Gary Glen Ross" days of the early '80's:
"It ain't braggin if you can do it. . . but if you don't deliver the message with respect. . . forgedaboudit."
Great advice you can apply to almost any goal or business… Love the Jerry Lewis pic too
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